My Confessional (Blog Action Day)
This post is part of Blog Action Day. Thousands of bloggers and millions of readers are participating in an attempt to make the landscape of poverty change, diminish and become manageable. Today I’m not feeling up to the task of taking anything on. I’m using the day to confess some stuff that has been clogging up my life like cholesterol in an artery…
This morning I went to the bank to take advantage of some student rates. I also took the opportunity to grab myself a lower interest rate credit card. After growing my financial empire I drove over here to the coffee shop where I sat down with a gourmet fair-trade organic coffee, turned on my mac and began to use the café’s free wireless connection. I am a king. Seriously. And so are you.
I slept in today. I had a hot shower inside my house. Water and electricity and natural gas flow into my home uninterrupted. Most likely there is food rotting in my fridge. And I will no doubt even have a second coffee today before I leave the cafe.
Even when I’m busy it is not because I am walking a tightrope between life and death. At no point during the last 24 hours have I walked any distance farther than my kitchen for drinkable water, killed an animal with my own hands for food, washed my clothes in a river, or wondered if I would even be able to eat tomorrow.
I am a king. And I don’t know how to handle it. What I mean is, I don’t know how to make it just be OK. It’s extraordinarily easy to just not think about it. I have a hundred thousand options available to me that can help me ignore this inequality. I can watch Steve Jobs with his blue jeans and keynote presentation and salivate at “uni-body construction” and led screens. I can watch Lost or Survivor and fantasize about how white, privileged society would act if it was “tribalized” (aka – trivializing the tribal)… I’m not going to continue…
Ignoring it is easy, but when forced to consider the situation I get uncomfortable. I’m reminded of how horrid it is that I ignore it. Imagine: My sister is sitting on the street – hungry, cold, dying. I could see her if I looked out the window beside me if only I dared to look. I’m uncomfortable with it so I pretend it doesn’t exist. And in the process I kill my sister.
I’m guilty of murder. I don’t say that to be dramatic. I believe it. In my own life I have killed hundreds and hundreds of people that I have encountered. I justified my murder by accusing THEM. “If I give this dude the change in my pocket he’ll just misuse it. It’s better misused by my hands than his.”
Wow. So I think I’m done with the purge. I could go on but I’m certain I would violate some blog etiquette or something.
It’s time to get constructive.
Tags: poverty, blog action day, confession
October 15th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
you’re not the only one. most days i feel like a walking, talking ball of contradictions and paradoxes.
it’s tough. it really is.
October 23rd, 2008 at 11:19 am
I think that you are being a tad hard on yourself. Jesus says that there will always be poor people amongst us. We cannot, on our own, save the world.
On the other hand I do very much agree with most of what you are saying here. I agree that we are Kings (which is ironic ‘cus we married into the king family) and we need to stop lavishing on ourselves “things”, or “comforts”.
I have been thinking along the same thought pattern as you are for the last week or two. I have started to put my thoughts into action. Last week I gave two of the youth in our youth group the money from the offering so that they could use it to bless someone who was poor or needy. I am also in the process of getting our group involved in the Brantford Poverty scene somehow. Maybe by serving meals, or building relationships with the homeless, or raising money for the those in need.
Alisa and I have also just started to sponsor a Compassion Child. I am not saying any of this to brag at all, but to encourage you, and anyone else who reads this, to take action. Just do what you believe is right, and don’t beat yourself up too much over the grief in the world because it will always be here. We just need to do our part!!(and maybe you are already?)
October 25th, 2008 at 12:11 am
it’s is absolutely a blessing to hear things like this. it’s easy to see the world pessimistically.. far far too easy. thanks for the encouragement!